Prof. Dr. Manee Phayomyong (Interview, Dec. 3, 2008) and Grandma Khamkio Chaithong (Interview, Nov. 7, 2008) said that after being sent into the bedroom, the newlywed couple will come out and join the guests in the feast which serves all sorts of auspicious named foods like khao nom sen or noodles with curry topping (the long string noodles is supposed to represent infinity), kaeng banun (Jack fruit soup), chin lap (minced meat salad), namphrik ong, kaeng om (meaning warm love), kaeng fak (meaning love), kaeng phak salit (meaning stick together or love each other fervently) and yam chin kai. A forbidden item that one should avoid serving at a wedding is a Thai dessert called "lot chong" as it implies that the couple will not be able to save money or other kinds of wealth.
It is important also to maintain peace throughout the ceremony. Guests and other participants are cautioned not to break out fighting or quarreling. When the couple makes an alms offering of food, they're often advised to try not to put their hand over the other one's hand when holding the food receptacle (ladle) as it is believed that it will make him/her dominate the other spouse. However, this is the belief of the people in the central region; Lanna do not go along with it. The same thing is believed about trying to light the candles in the candelabra with the master candle in the ceremony, which also implies one having power over the other. They also take care not to break anything during the ceremony. Sometimes they even forbid a widow or widower to tie the wrists of the bride to the groom. Some go as far as not allowing them to attend the wedding.
A few days after the couple have lived as husband and wife, they will visit their parents and older relatives to pay respect to them. Things that are often take along to present to them are such practical items as clothing, dried food, glass noodles, dried fish and some desserts. A tray of flowers, a candle and incense sticks is presented in a manner of giving oneself to be a member of the family. They also take this opportunity to ask for the elders' advice about looking after their house and property together and ask them for their blessing. The elders will also prepare some money to give them as seed money to start a new family or to keep as an auspicious money called "ngoen khuan thung". It is believed that such money will draw a great fortune.
In the case of the Mae Chaem people, according to Grandpa Noipia Kengkantham (Interview, Dec. 15, 2008), the newlywed couple often visit their parents and elders of each side to pay respect in the evening time. They usually take along some pork to offer to the ancestral spirit. The meat is cut into portions and put in a cotton bag to give to the man's parents. They go in the evening because they feel embarrassed as a newlywed couple. The man's parents will give them a bag of something as a present. About 3-5 days later, the husband will take the bag and return it to the parents. This is called "bai song thung," and the daughter-in-law will help the mother-in-law do such chores as carry water to fill the water pot and thresh the uncooked rice in a mortar for at least one basketful.
this is a spirit worship rite. The sacrifice offerings are divided into 2 sets. An elder will perform the rite by telling the spirit of the ancestors to help the two families get familiar or close to one another and to grant happiness to the new family.
After that they will split the flowers, candles and incense sticks into two halves and also one chicken each so each family will take them and place them on the shrine of the ancestral spirit in their houses.
The chicken and other food are later shared in a meal. After this, it means that the couple have taken the same spirit so they can go in and out of any room including the bedroom of the other one's house. This is meant to show that they trust each other completely (Sanguan Chotsukrat, 1968, 89-90).
Based on the version provided by Thawi Khueankaeo (1998, pp.124-176):
(In Pali)Atchachaiso Atchachaaiyo Atchamangkhalo
Atcha today is a good day
It's a day full of joy and good fortune
A good day for many lovers to meet
And become lifelong partners.
It is said to be an auspicious time
For a wedding and marriage of a husband and wife.
This couple have been soul mates of each other
For as long as seven births in reincarnation.
They were husband and wife in a previous life
And now they have that chance again.
The couple have already helped one another
And that merit granted them this blessing.
Like a blooming lotus in filthy water
Each supports the other and stays with each other always.
May this auspicious time wipe away any bad luck,
Whether it deals with the day, month or year,
Whether when you sit or lie down in fatigue,
Whether in illness or disaster,
Whether it is caused by rain or storm,
Every kind of the thirty evil things,
Whether it is caused by an elephant, a horse, a tiger or a bear,
Or caused by a bull or a buffalo,
Let it be all slide away and fall away from your body
Like dewdrops roll away down a lotus leaf,
Like the words of the Lord Buddha saying,
(In Pali) Sappatatha sampatata sappatukkha sappaphaya sapparokha winasantu.
Now the thirty misfortunes have been cast away.
All the good friends and relatives are assembling now.
Everything is beautifully arranged
Like this bai si and engagement trays,
placed in tiers with such nice flowers
Dok Un, Homklai, jasmine and ilang-ilang,
Gardenias and Kalong, Khayong and roses,
Their fragrance reaching to the gods on high,
So attractive, so pleasant they look.
Now, I will invoke the thirty-two khuan
Wherever any one or more of your khuan spirits has fallen,
Be it in the water, the jungle or desolate place,
With tigers, lions, rhinos, or elephants surrounding it,
Please return immediately.
If you have fallen in a ravine or from a high mountain cliff,
I am calling you, all thirty-two khuan spirits
To immediately come and enjoy this feast
Which has been prepared to greet you.
So, if the kuan spirits of this couple hears my call,
Please come all so I'll tie your wrists
and from now on may you two prosper.
Tying the right wrist to keep your spirit still,
Never quarreling, never have a verbal war.
May you possess goodness and live together forever.
And keep calm and peaceful.
When the husband is fire, the wife should be water.
Never think of separation, but stay side by side.
Minimize self and encourage cooperation.
(In Pali) Satcha thama khanti chakha
Abide by these four Dhamma
And you will prosper
Like the man of light and the wife of crystal.
The good life and progress are lying ahead
For you two to keep going.
(In Pali) Chayatu phawang chayamongkhalang
(In Pali) Sophitiyo wiwatchantu sappharokho winasatu mate phawatwatrayo
Sukhi thikhayuko aphiwatthanasilisa nitchang wuttha pachayino
Chataro thamma watthanatu wanno sukhang phalang
Information/Writing/Picture
Prasong Saengngam, expert on Lanna Traditions
and Living Library Team for developing the Learning Society Northern Information Section,
Chiang Mai University Library and the Information Technology Service Center
Eng
